recently it has come to my mind as an epiphany that knowing someone is an utopia. in reality the most we can get a glimpse of someone is 2%, no more than that. and the greatest mistake of all is not only that you dare to think you know a person, but to project in that person qualities and features that are not there. You project in that person filling him or her with wishful thoughts only. You see that person as everything you wish them to be- honest, trustful, supportive, caring. And you start building a totally different personality, to build an ideal. after a while you see how blind you have been, how wrong... People are almost never the way we want them to be. You help them, support them, lend an ear to their words and troubles, but then there's no feedback, no nice words, just sharp and contradictory lines. You start wondering what you did wrong, because you feel you have done something wrong. But your questions fly just like blinded bats in the light of the day, leaving you bare, hollow and with a huge sense of meaningless. But the mistake was yours for entrusting some feelings, thoughts and qualities in people, for fighting to see the best in them always, but failing so easily and unacceptable to take them for what they are...
They say truth hurts, indeed... seeing how different things are from what you hoped for, you ache, you can't stop but feel down and blaming yourself and the person...there remains too much pain and shattered dreams and expectations behind.
I'm starting to wonder when this trust i have in people is going to die...how much wrong can i still be in misjudging them... how much do i still have to suffer for being let down by people....
