me, you and ....them

This city, like many of our cities is amazing in many ways- it has a beautiful centre with ancient but well preserved and restored buildings, a lot of parks here and there, just to bring more green into our lives, its people are quite friendly and open and its transportation is almost like a Swiss watch. Probably the best example of high standard of living and urban beauty is its Mall which practically dazzles you.

It's like a different dimension, once you step behind its gates it's like you find yourself in an entirely new world where lights, colours, and the sound of money and cheerful chats surround you from everywhere almost drowning you in such a state of well- being. And people seem to revolve around it like moths towards light- they are attracted in spite of turning out to be quite "dangerous" for them in the end, as they will spend all their money.... And, money or no money in your wallet this glamour gets you and performs and aesthetic surgery on your face preserving an almost annoyingly ever smile on your face. Everything seems so well civilized, so well bred and everything seems to be in its right place...

It is like a strategy to make people feel happy despite not having real reasons to feel like that, all the while making them forget about the truly existing reasons that should make them feel a lot less happy. It's like we plant flowers and make parks, yet we cut entire forests, we install air conditioning to make us forget about global warming, we build up modern, spicy and totally cool shops whose shop windows' only purpose is to lure people into buying their way to happiness, and yet behind all this lies the poor, the forgotten and the abandoned, in a way- the less charming truth.

Maybe it is not wrong to live like that, or maybe I am wrong when I say this, and many might disagree with me, and I wouldn't even blame them. All I say is that after my eyes have wondered in amazement through the lights of the glamorous city, I finally ended up in less popular sites- like the stations. I have noticed this about cities- behind the nice looking parts (which are usually in the centre), there lies a darker, less fortunate part usually placed in stations. And seeing the old, the young all of them abandoned and poor, after having seen all that beauty, it's like almost hurting physically your eyes.



















You see old people, tired after having worked all their life, in most cases for nothing, their pride long gone, you see children already tired of life, you see old buildings barely standing, their sad windows looking out at the world passing by and it ain't pretty at all. It hurts you to see them in your way, after all not earlier than an hour ago, you were trying on and buying your latest cool dress and were drinking your cocktail somewhere in a cool refreshing and comfy place. You feel bad to see others suffering for real reasons, when you get so easily upset because your favourite T-shirt is sold out.

And thus we end up sending away such people, hiding them from our sight, not because we are ashamed with them as we would often say, but because seeing them we are ashamed with ourselves.

Modern Man?

There is this very "funny" type of person-cool, many times distant, the prototype of a very reasonable, reliable person. It's a new species that has appeared and evolved under the harsh conditions of the society we live in.

And this perfectly adapted species has a tremendous fear of feelings. Their urge to be accepted, and even more, to impose themselves as very determined and as "I- know- what- to- do- in- any- situation" type of person, has determined them to turn off their feelings. They want to look perfectly adapted and always in control of things, as any sign of vulnerability would damage their image. Thus, feelings would be just a sign of weakness, leading to the impression that person is on loose ground, or somehow out of control of their life.

So occasionally only, this new species would let just for a bit their feelings to take over, but it is so rarely and followed by so much regret afterwords, that the non-feeling state seems a lot more comfortable and at hand to them.

And thus, in time, the subject of feelings and emotions has become taboo for them, they would go on through life boasting about their equilibrated and perfectly balanced nature, about their capacity to think things straight, objectively, without the inherent distractions of the heart. Such things as "I have no feelings" and "What are feelings good at, what is their purpose?" are among the most often used and famous words. Yet, I wonder, why do they feel the need to say this so many times, it almost sounds like a justification, like they were trying really hard to prove their way of life is so much better. If that life devoided of feelings is better why do you feel the need to defend yourself so much?

Besides promoting such verbal "ads" as mentioned above, this new species takes great effort in hiding or stopping any sign of affection- they will always be there for you if you want them to mend your car for you, or paint your house, but they will never be there for you for anything that might require them to show they have feelings. Thy will never wish you a "Happy Anniversary" or "Merry Christmas" because these are just empty words for them, they will never be your shoulder to cry on either. They might want to be your true friend, but they will fail for being incomplete. It will be impossible for them to be there for you 100%, you might overlook this for a while but then in time, you see how emotionally crippled they are, as you start missing the nice feeling of a hug, the warmth and support of some good words told from the heart.

It is sad to see how because of fear of opening one's heart to the life's treasures, people turn into "robots" voluntarily; behind their "boldness" and coolness, they end up being just cowards, afraid not only of their own feelings but mostly of the others. They will use plenty of reasons to justify their rejection of feelings- betrayal, boredom mostly, indifference, a keen sense of the flaws existing in the people around, coupled with a very high self esteem and pride.

It is sad, once again, as they end up hurting others as well on this path they have chosen...