me, you and ....them

This city, like many of our cities is amazing in many ways- it has a beautiful centre with ancient but well preserved and restored buildings, a lot of parks here and there, just to bring more green into our lives, its people are quite friendly and open and its transportation is almost like a Swiss watch. Probably the best example of high standard of living and urban beauty is its Mall which practically dazzles you.

It's like a different dimension, once you step behind its gates it's like you find yourself in an entirely new world where lights, colours, and the sound of money and cheerful chats surround you from everywhere almost drowning you in such a state of well- being. And people seem to revolve around it like moths towards light- they are attracted in spite of turning out to be quite "dangerous" for them in the end, as they will spend all their money.... And, money or no money in your wallet this glamour gets you and performs and aesthetic surgery on your face preserving an almost annoyingly ever smile on your face. Everything seems so well civilized, so well bred and everything seems to be in its right place...

It is like a strategy to make people feel happy despite not having real reasons to feel like that, all the while making them forget about the truly existing reasons that should make them feel a lot less happy. It's like we plant flowers and make parks, yet we cut entire forests, we install air conditioning to make us forget about global warming, we build up modern, spicy and totally cool shops whose shop windows' only purpose is to lure people into buying their way to happiness, and yet behind all this lies the poor, the forgotten and the abandoned, in a way- the less charming truth.

Maybe it is not wrong to live like that, or maybe I am wrong when I say this, and many might disagree with me, and I wouldn't even blame them. All I say is that after my eyes have wondered in amazement through the lights of the glamorous city, I finally ended up in less popular sites- like the stations. I have noticed this about cities- behind the nice looking parts (which are usually in the centre), there lies a darker, less fortunate part usually placed in stations. And seeing the old, the young all of them abandoned and poor, after having seen all that beauty, it's like almost hurting physically your eyes.



















You see old people, tired after having worked all their life, in most cases for nothing, their pride long gone, you see children already tired of life, you see old buildings barely standing, their sad windows looking out at the world passing by and it ain't pretty at all. It hurts you to see them in your way, after all not earlier than an hour ago, you were trying on and buying your latest cool dress and were drinking your cocktail somewhere in a cool refreshing and comfy place. You feel bad to see others suffering for real reasons, when you get so easily upset because your favourite T-shirt is sold out.

And thus we end up sending away such people, hiding them from our sight, not because we are ashamed with them as we would often say, but because seeing them we are ashamed with ourselves.

a different bon appetit...

Just some plates I have discovered in my countryside holiday...

holidays

Just snapshots from my holiday away from the city and into the heart of....

Carmen

Nothing can sound better in our Big Square than classical music....and these days rehearsals for Carmen by Bizet are taking place here involving a great number of performers (dancers). Most of the dancers seem to be rather in their training period, but together with the music and the passion they devote to dance one could say the show this Saturday is going to be great. Here are some pix, due to my camera performance in the dark, I should probably apologize for their quality.... :)

Modern Man?

There is this very "funny" type of person-cool, many times distant, the prototype of a very reasonable, reliable person. It's a new species that has appeared and evolved under the harsh conditions of the society we live in.

And this perfectly adapted species has a tremendous fear of feelings. Their urge to be accepted, and even more, to impose themselves as very determined and as "I- know- what- to- do- in- any- situation" type of person, has determined them to turn off their feelings. They want to look perfectly adapted and always in control of things, as any sign of vulnerability would damage their image. Thus, feelings would be just a sign of weakness, leading to the impression that person is on loose ground, or somehow out of control of their life.

So occasionally only, this new species would let just for a bit their feelings to take over, but it is so rarely and followed by so much regret afterwords, that the non-feeling state seems a lot more comfortable and at hand to them.

And thus, in time, the subject of feelings and emotions has become taboo for them, they would go on through life boasting about their equilibrated and perfectly balanced nature, about their capacity to think things straight, objectively, without the inherent distractions of the heart. Such things as "I have no feelings" and "What are feelings good at, what is their purpose?" are among the most often used and famous words. Yet, I wonder, why do they feel the need to say this so many times, it almost sounds like a justification, like they were trying really hard to prove their way of life is so much better. If that life devoided of feelings is better why do you feel the need to defend yourself so much?

Besides promoting such verbal "ads" as mentioned above, this new species takes great effort in hiding or stopping any sign of affection- they will always be there for you if you want them to mend your car for you, or paint your house, but they will never be there for you for anything that might require them to show they have feelings. Thy will never wish you a "Happy Anniversary" or "Merry Christmas" because these are just empty words for them, they will never be your shoulder to cry on either. They might want to be your true friend, but they will fail for being incomplete. It will be impossible for them to be there for you 100%, you might overlook this for a while but then in time, you see how emotionally crippled they are, as you start missing the nice feeling of a hug, the warmth and support of some good words told from the heart.

It is sad to see how because of fear of opening one's heart to the life's treasures, people turn into "robots" voluntarily; behind their "boldness" and coolness, they end up being just cowards, afraid not only of their own feelings but mostly of the others. They will use plenty of reasons to justify their rejection of feelings- betrayal, boredom mostly, indifference, a keen sense of the flaws existing in the people around, coupled with a very high self esteem and pride.

It is sad, once again, as they end up hurting others as well on this path they have chosen...

To Co

The freshly mown grass has waken me this morning
The pink peach flowers delicately
showed me the new day.
Everything looked promising in the warm light of the sun:
Another day in paradise...... without my friend.

ballet in 2 acts

Act 1, Scene 1 and 2























Act 2 and Final, Scene 1 and 2

mostly blue spring

weekend break

Since my hard disk is kinda dead, you'll be probably "happy" to know that posting pictures is out of the question for a while, and since I absolutely can't let this crisis has a too much serious effect on this blog I'll probably write tonight some words I have come across during my virtual and literary wanderings. They are rather quotes, not many so you can hide your little yawning....you won't have time to get too much bored :)

" People who are only in each other's company for amusement never really like each other so well, or esteem each other so highly, as those who work together, and perhaps suffer together. "


"White brilliant flowers
Floating on the warm waters of the river
towards the South country
of the heart of darkness.

Sweating dark bodies
carrying their sins
like a burden on their shoulders
like a moonless night... "


" Bleak thoughts were lingering outside
the window of her soul.
The mist showed their shape even more grotesque.
Like haunting souls returned from beyond
Turning peace into fight,
Love into hatred
And light into death. "

Chance

Her soul has rested, having travelled beyond the valley of the violet lilac and the white daffodils, and having trodden upon the perfumed waters of April nights.

His soul has travelled as well, but in its path, it hasn't encountered the fragile beauty she has seen. No, he has rather dared the dark depths of faraway seas, he has faced the strong and harsh winds of the North.

Yet, they met.

Two grains of sand have met somewhere in the universe, carrying in their essence her and his aspirations and reflections. They met in the least expected place and time- on an ordinary day of April, in an ordinary street of an even more ordinary town. In fact they had been there for a while, yet not knowing that what they were longing for was neither in the blossoming valley, nor in the salty depths of the seas, not knowing that what/who they needed the most was right there at an arm's reach...

But two apparently insignificant grains of sand made it all happen....

flowers invasion

with the risk of annoying some people who might have got tired of seeing flowers over flowers again and again, and with the risk of maybe making some of my friends roll their eyes at the sight of too many flowers invading not only my blog, but also photography, and above all also my friends' retina....Well with that risk in mind, I have to admit I can't help it. I am so glad about spring having come that "selfish" as I am, I really feel like sharing my happiness with the people I care about, and why not, with the people I wanna annoy. :)

Then, even though I know that such topic for photography can be seen as just a sugary interest, quite shallow, maybe, I still think that flowers and nature in general are in the end some of the most beautiful things on earth. The problem with such a photography topic, I think, is that nature makes people's job easier. The beauty is there, quite obvious and tangible, whereas other topics might give the artists more hardships in unveiling their true value, thus making the artist's work more valuable and important. "Chapeau!" I might even say, but still this doesn't deny any value to let's say "the easy photography"...either way many times it depends on the subjects you might have at hand, the opportunities offered by people, or places.

So be patient, my dear friends, for lack of subject matter, for the time being you are still stuck with the same topic-nature and its beauty... :)

a personal treat ...prietenii stiu de ce :)

my very favourite ever - Queen and a couple of their rather rare but equally impressive and harmonious songs. They are, after all, the cherry on top of the cake, as they say. Enjoy!

spring at night

It has snowed tonight- the blizzard of dozens flowers blossoming in spring... They say all cats are black at night. I say all trees in bloom are covered in snow at night. I am looking outside my window in the solitary night and all I see are what appear to be snowflakes gently dancing in the night breeze- and still despite my treacherous eyes, other sense tells me I'm wrong.

They must be petals thickly covering each branch in a very unique bond, as I can smell the daffodils and the fresh cherry flowers. It is definitely spring again, and despite the green gaining more and more ground each day, at night black and white take the power. I wonder which is stronger- the all covering dark, or rather the white- pale and yet capable of making itself seen in spite of the dark?

....and it all started from a pink tree gently dancing on the tune of wind on a spring night....

Palm Sunday

just .... wet spring

....

A very awkward feeling has overcome me lately, a mixture of weakness and blindness, that is becoming stronger and stronger, rendering me weaker and weaker. It's the feeling of helplessness in grasping the people around me. It is so frustrating as the more I have tried the more I have failed in really understanding and sympathizing with them.
It's like a sea of blur and fog has turned into an ocean, driving everybody away, further in the distance. And here I am after years, drifting near an isolated island of solitude, full of wonders and questions, and doubts and the echos of all these as only answers to my whispers. I sometimes try to get a glimpse of the others, to see how they lead their lives and how they connect their little islands into a commercial and social network, based on common shared interests, as well as the use of convenient lies and mockery. After all, they all have something to sell- their image, their individuality, their soul... And what I perceive as being but signs of meanness and arrogance, is in fact, the glue that bonds them together. And I wonder why couldn't I fit in? Why wasn't I able to find the same glue and use it as carelessly and instinctively as they do? They survive and end up feeling good about themselves, at least they look like it, and they don't look back, after all who would like to still have any attachments to an island that is already doomed to drowning? They just keep getting away as fast as they can, no look behind, as if fearing a single look even could somehow make them lose their course and direction...

Candy love

As everybody knows, the Romanian version of Saint Valentine is rushing rapidly upon the pages of our agendas, and so, as appropriately, this post is about "dragobete", or to better put it about what this holiday and tradition stands for.
First of all I just want to point out that personally, I find it quite hard to associate February with such profound, intense and beautiful feeling as they say love is. Who could imagine love as being something happening in a chilly, sometimes foggy or even snowy February day? Love is about blooming, about fragrance and warm, caressing wind, it is about spring and the coming to life of your soul, now reunited with its destined Half. And if love is not about spring, then it might be about the sweet, cherries smiling down on you from their green palace of branches, it's about heat and passion, about long nights and golden days, about the smell of salty sand and ocean...


But if none of these are at our disposal in such a beautiful month like February, maybe some substitutes provided by our mind could induce a bit the idea of love. Our mind can but imagine the sweet taste of candy love, a walk under the moonlit trees along the isolate lakes, or if preferences are rather oriented towards such exquisite things as Shakespeare's sonnets, or medieval, chivalry love, then the image of some strange love potion could take our thoughts far away...






















But if you are in love then you no longer need the strives of the mind to paint these things for you. They'll be there for you, no matter if it's just another month of February, no matter if those around you reject love as they would plague, and again no matter how much you might have suffered because of love...because somehow any deception you might have had in life is but another feather that would turn you into a Phoenix in the end.

la critique, c'est la solution

How can people feel better about themselves?
There are certain things one can do in order to grow in their own eyes. Of course as almost everything in life there is an easy way to do that as well as a more complex and hard manner to achieve a certain self-fulfillment. Most of us and most of the time will choose the easy way, our nature being rather inclined to that kind of acting.
Yet in our particular way, the situation is more complex than that. Why? Well, if you choose the easy way, then what you will get won't be the real thing, it will be just a fade copy, an appearance. Only choosing the hard way will ensure a real growth, making you a truly better person.
And yet, maybe not knowing this, or on the contrary refusing this truth most of us will always choose the light way. That's human nature, I guess.
Anyway, let's make it a more down to earth. If I choose the hard way to become a better person, then I will always try to become better than the previous day. Thus, this constant comparison with myself will drive me to do good, through an advice, a supporting word, or a comforting and encouraging gesture. You can't but help that you might have advanced two more cm into the path of good.
As for the easy way to do it, well one can always be better if those around them are bad or weak. So if you wanna feel good about yourself, you can always start criticizing everything and everyone around. Of course, while doing that your self-esteem quenches its thirst, your pride and ego will be more than satisfied- after all, you ARE a great person. And you see your criticizing as a sign and expression of your objectivity and courage to make a stand, while others' attitude is being passive and coward. Your head and look are straight, up while others go through life looking down.
And yet, or in spite of your objectivity and courage you go through life as a hunter sniffing for "leaks", weak spots- in people, the system, your country, hell, even in your blouse or the way bus tickets are made....
Even though people always criticizing, feel they have a life full of courage and attitude, a life in which they are not afraid to point to the existing problems, at one point in their voyage, they cross the line. They will end up doing this not because they really care and want to improve things, but because while criticizing they feel they are superior, above the "common masses."
And lately the world is getting full of the latter. As i said in a previous post everybody nowadays has an opinion, not a praising one, most of the time. So you see the optimism in me, when I say that this world is definitely getting more and more "good" people....

Avatar

Last Saturday, for the first time in months I managed to get to the cinema to see the over-acclaimed Avatar... And though I usually choose not to go with the herd, this time I went against my principles and I practically let myself be dragged into the cinema.
Well I've got 2 words for that night: no regrets! Avatar is definitely one of the best movies so far. The plot itself is quite interesting especially as it puts forth certain issues we should all think about- racism, the fight for freedom and rights, as well as the people's predatory characteristics, or to better put it, -locusts- how I "like" to call ourselves. It s amazing to see how after so many years of treading upon the Earth, humans still feel like it is their birth right to use everything they come across, to use, take and destroy. So here we are some time in the future on another planet-Pandora- diminishing their resources just like we did with our planet, killing everyone while "purchasing" those goods.... Why? You know that part of another film I used to like- Matilda- where her father says something like: "I'm big, you're small, I'm smart, you're stupid!"....well we have something similar here. We have the locals who are definitely some "savages", primitives and ignorant of everything that's important (especially the value of money), and then on the other side we have the saviors- the Americans- who are cultured people, appreciating art, technology, science and all modern commodities. You can see who was the big/ small, smart/ stupid. Of course the film attacks all this racial and predatory behavior, praising the rather simple, close to nature people. I can definitely see why this film might have "offended " certain circles- political, economical- advocating progress and evolution at any costs.

Yet, probably an even better part of the film is sustained by the imagery used- the stuff involved in making the film went miles beyond anything done before in terms of special effects, imagination and visual beauty. I am talking here about the kind of beauty that lifts your spirit, makes you closer to perfection. It's not the beauty you live now and then pass by, but the one that leaves traces into memory...The memory of some future events we might never get the chance to live...

Just burning midnight oil

Elbert Green Hubbard once said that the recipe for perpetual ignorance is to be satisfied with your opinions and content with your knowledge. Without any particular reason these words somehow sunk into my mind- it is simple and yet so right in so many ways.

We so many times fall into this trap, especially nowadays when everybody has an opinion about everything. We are bombed every day by the others' ideas, we in our turn voice our thoughts about things around, about the people we know, or not, about the universe, about that tone, or that look...And the trap is, while doing that we always forget to lend our ears to the others. We no longer read either, as that would definitely be just a waste of time. Why read? I know things... Well we definitely know more that before, but maybe we owe this to just having better antennae than people used to before. Why do I say that? well, simply because now we just pick things from around. We don't even realize they are not our own thoughts. We just find them there- in our heads- one day and of course in our pride we voice them loud. People have to hear them, after all they are genial ideas-they are ours, right?
You are going to say where is the problem? we still lend our ears and open our minds to the multitude of ideas out there, that must be a good thing, right? Not as long as we keep thinking those ideas were ours first. The trap is we just might end up being too content about "our knowledge" (which was never ours, in fact), or satisfied with our opinions (again not ours)...So the danger is we start living a lie, we are not only less smart and intelligent at the end of the day, but we are much prouder about ourselves, thus in fact diminishing our chances for true advancement and enlightment.
So my advise for you would be- go out there, take a book, dust it a bit and then plunge into its pages. You might be surprised. Then go hunting for ideas, but do it consciously and don't take credit for what's not yours. And you'll see how better man you will become by the end of that day!

"The God Game"

I might have been called many names so far, but never a child believing in Santa... That sounds strange but I think it is actually a nice name, even though it was definitely meant in a derogatory tone. So what can I tell the person calling me that, but THANKS, man! I prefer being considered a child (What is wrong about being a child in mind and heart?). As for the part with me- the child- believing in Santa....what is so wrong about believing in something good, in hope, in being given something good in return for my good done to someone else...
Of course all this was but a metaphor for those- "silly and naive"- who believe in God!!!! After all just a fairytale character meant to lead the weak and stupid into a certain direction.... As for religion, well that's another fairytale, not only there to lead most of the Earth's people into the direction wanted-just like one would lead thoughtless sheep- but also responsible for genocide... You can imagine my surprise to read these words...I mean, through time there have been so many things said upon the subject that I don't see how anyone could say anything without the risk of repeating themselves; these paths are so often trodden upon that I am still surprise to see people getting heated upon the topic. I am still trying to see the originality of their words, that would somehow justify their effort..but like that, just supporting an idea with some clumsy arguments, an idea that not only is not true, but also offensive in so many ways to so many people.... that is indeed strange...
The way I see it anyone is entitled to their opinion- whether is believing in God, or choosing science and material- but I guess either way, it shouldn't be a matter of pride, wearing this (dis)belief like a badge of courage or something...Faith, or non faith should be a personal matter, not something you cry out to the world while beating your chest... It is not just a game where the opponents keep saying: mine is better!!!!
God is there!!! And if you wanna call me a naive and stupid child for that, go ahead. I prefer being that, rather than an "all- knowing and understanding Adult"....

Realities of the same soul

It is more than clear this freezing we are experiencing can be very depressing for many, not only depressing but also an obstacle people have to try and avoid or overpass every time they leave the house. Work has ended up seeming even less pleasant than the usual daily chores, as for walking in the park or on your favourite paths, well those seem dreams put aside in a special box to be opened later in the year.
The only thing pushing people ahead are visual thoughts of warmth and fireplace, a cup of burning hot tea, the hug of the loved one, and why not even an oozing melting chocolate cake. And maybe to get into the atmosphere one sees in the American movies, people might see in their mind's eye candles as well and to complete the image some minds would go as far as to see flowers.
Indeed it is the peak of winter, and yet, thanks to the commercialized world we live in, we don't see it but when we "crawl" or "slide " outside... in the comfy atmosphere of our homes, we live in an oasis of virtual summer if we want to. We have beach movies with tropical islands and dreams, we have beautiful curvacious women wearing swimming suits, or even ice-cream, if we feel like it. And everything gets to us through the magic of the screens, and of the cards...we have finally conquered winter and cold, even though we keep complaining about them. I guess that is how we are moulded - to complain even though or especially when our life goes for the better.
Anyway, talking about being bombed by images meant to mould our mentalities, visions and aspirations here are some glimpses of those visual thoughts...

Merry Christmas

Craciun Fericit! Merry Christmas! Joyeux Noel!

a fost odata ca niciodata...

Nu stiu daca e din cauza ca este la moda sau doar pentru ca de ceva vreme gandul la revolutie nu imi da pace, insa iata-ma si pe mine cernind aici cateva randuri despre acel an. Si ca premiera si posibil unica data, iata ca aceste randuri sunt in romaneste. Cam ciudat sa scrii in engleza despre o amarata de revolutie din decembrie '89 din Romania.

In primul rand revolutia a fost un soc pentru oamenii pe vremea aceea. Oamenii erau in acea stare de resemnare in care parca toate lucrurile erau asa cum erau si nimic nu se putea face sa le schimbi. Desi nimanui nu i placea starea de lucruri existenta, oamenii nu stiau ce e speranta, si isi traiau zilele una dupa alta in aceeasi fel- unii lingusindu-si superiorii, altii ascultand clandestin Europa Libera printre bruiajele interminabile, sau glumind pe seama unui american, unui rus si unui roman. Aceleasi personaje ale unui numar interminabil de bancuri, in care in mod uimitor, romanul era intotdeauna castigator prin inventivitate, umor, spirit practic. Si in aceasta stare de lucruri revolutia nu a fost ceva ce putea fi prevazut....
Stiu ca ascultam anumite posturi din strainatate care zilnic aduceau in casele oamenilor vesti despre Timisoara si ce se intampla acolo cu zile inainte sa cuprinda intreaga tara. Si cam atat, insa nimeni nu vorbea despre asta sau s-ar fi gandit ca acele evenimente aveau sa duca la revolutie.
Si mai stiu ca in acea zi de decembrie, cand Ceausescu a fugit, printre ecuatii si cozonac, am pornit radioul- si am auzit... La inceput am crezut ca sigur nu are ce sa fie decat teatru radiofonic, ceea ce se spunea era prea nemaiauzit, si vocile erau prea panicate, aproape dramatice, avand acea exagerare specifica actorilor de teatru...
Si apoi timpul a stat in loc- oamenii de la tara s-au adunat care pe unde au putut- la putinii vecini ce aveau cate un tv, porcii au ramas taiati in mijlocul curtii (sper ca unii au scapat cu viata), cozonacii nepusi in cuptor. Si bineinteles romanu ce se afla departe de pericolul orasului si al gloantelor, s-a pornit pe sarbatorit- s-a adus vinul si rachiul si cozonacii copti nu au mai asteptat Craciunul.
Apoi au urmat zile pline de contradictii: tragea armata, ba nu, minciuna! Nu era armata; se tragea in orasul cutare, si apele fusesera otravite, si alte si alte zvonuri menite sa ajute gogoasa sa creasca. Si a crescut timp de 20 de ani....
Cm atat s-a impregnat in mintea unui copil de 14 ani- un fragment de teatru radiofonic, Ceausescu venit din strainatate tinand un discurs tremurat si huiduit, si multe multe desene animate- uimire, incantare de copil la urmarirea desenelor animate timp de ore intregi, pentru prima data in viata lui. Acum dupa ani, a mai ramas gustul amar al gogoasei, si intrebarea: cat va mai dura pana sa faca poc...din nou?

Even though winter is here and Christmas and the New Year are on their way, their spirit seems gone, or maybe not yet come. It might be the missing snow, or it might as well be the missing of dear persons. Definitely a year marked by the loss of two dear people to me- a loss that not even the lights and carols that come along with winter holidays can make up for. I know the only thing keeping me going on is, ironically the realization that there is always room for worse. So, in spite of the loss and mourning, going on and appreciating what I've got seems the only logical thing to do.

Yet, hoping that this "holidays" will bring more hope and news of life and goodness, and light into the heart, I welcome them as before- with carols, fragrance of snow in the air and the hope for a better year to come.