Saturday, October 29, 2011

Atelier 58

As a tourist, curious and eager to see as much as possible from what a place has to offer to please all human senses some months ago, at the dawn of summer I set off on a journey to Timisoara.

Probably the first thing that impresses the heated traveller in search for refreshment and shelter from the burning sun are the numerous parks Timisoara has. The green of grass and trees are everywhere completing perfectly the very beautiful architecture of most older buildings I came across in its centre.

Beside taking lots of pictures, like any passionate traveller, and admiring the beauty of the shapes and colours of the buildings around Unirii Square, one day curiosity led my tired feet towards a boutique whose catchy poster had been drawing my attention for some days. And thus I discovered a very chic, and comfortable boutique that not only enchanted my eyes, but also my spirit through hospitality, the warmth I was welcomed with, as well as the unique beauty of the designs in display.

Reminiscent of the old glorious days of Timisoara in terms of interior design, the concept of this boutique is totally innovative. Atelier 58 is not just a simple boutique, but rather a home, where you feel welcome and safe while discovering the unique designs of young but very talented artists.

Like under a light breeze, the heavy silk of dresses dances gently but temptingly, urging you to feel the smooth texture. Everything is colour, good taste, imagination beyond boundaries. And your eyes are amazed. You feel almost at home and yet you are exploring a whole new world, discovering not only fashion created by local designers but also new ways of treating yourself.

These and a lot more await you at Atelier 58- elegance, warmth, a nice cozy atmosphere, and above all fashion and jewelry in their highest artistic form.

I spent quite a lot of time there, trying things on, taking pictures, talking with Maria Burnete, the main designer and owner of the boutique....and yet, it seemed like time was flying really fast. Now looking back at my memories there, while also going through my pictures, I know I will have one more reason to return to Timisoara: Atelier 58!

Monday, October 24, 2011

too labyrithical to get a title

I have been asking God lately to rip away the feelings I have for the man I love...and yet it seems like its roots are deep down and hard to get rid's become a painful process where torn between still loving him, and yet getting away from all the pain. I've never thought being heartbroken can actually feel like physical pain, but it actually does... so much pain it feels like choking me. I have asked God for many things lately, to help me get this love out, to help him forgive me and open his heart again to me, and yet all prayers were left words echoed in the solitude of my heart only... I feel so much regret and hopelessness and powerlessness for not knowing what to do or what to say to make things better, like they used to be... Right now i feel like nothing's gonna be the same anymore, just another example to prove me I'm not worth even of forgiveness and true friendship.

He left now, and i still can't believe he didn't want us to meet, at least for a word of comfort and support, or at least so that he wouldn't leave upset.... I wonder, does he know how much pain I'm going through feeling him closed to me, distant, in his own world, his heart shut away from me? I know i might sound dramatic, and yet among all the apologies I've said, I was left alone, behind like one would leave a burden... which is quite puzzling, since I know it in my heart he is a good man and capable of forgiveness and caring truly for a friend, and yet he couldn't... And it is the more amazingly sad, as I see one more time how months of good deed and feelings and support and great friendship are powerless in front of several minutes of vulnerability and selfishness.... I see one more time that caring for someone is never enough, you still risk hurting his feelings, sending him away in his world where there is no longer a place for me, where I 'm no longer welcomed, no longer family.

People have this tendency of using words lightly, they rarely pay attention to them, some of them give too much hope, just to take it away later, others end up hurting someone's feelings, overall, we, people are not aware of the great power words have, all the promises and feelings they bear with them... Some time ago, when love bloomed in my heart, I was told I am always and forever welcome, as well as family... great words which meant the world to me... and thus the bud turned into flower. Yet, autumn came with its chilly wind covering me in the rustling copper leaves of dying trees. I no longer feel welcome, now it is just the cold feeling of a closed door staring at you... It is so hard to bear no longer being wanted, so hard to let things go after reaching heaven and then falling back to earth.... And all because of words, words I wish I could take back, words that must have hurt his feelings so deeply that he finds it impossible in his heart to open again to me, to really forgive me.... he no longer needs me, or wants to see me, he just speaks to me from time to time, yet he is distant and closed showing me just surfaces and covers.... What could I do to take things back in time, to make him see I am still me and above all, he is still him? Was I such a bad and unreliable and untruthful "friend" that I can be shut away so easily from someone's heart? Maybe I was, in which case, there is not probably much to say anymore...

And yet I so wished I could see him before he left! just to tell him I wish him well, both as health and heart, I wish him all the best my heart could wish someone... to tell him he can still and always trust me, and know he has a friend in me, to ask him to value my friendship as he has always done.

And after so many wishing, I still wish some more....I wish we could be the way we were, before my heart completely shuts itself in a drowning pool of sadness and despair, before my other wish about it turning into stone becomes reality.... And I still wish for something else .... I wish him well, I wish him Heaven on earth, love in his heart, peace in his mind and strength in his body.

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

lonely path

A child is born....the joy of family and all creation, he steps into the world with hesitation at first, yet fueled by a great curiosity to know things. The first thing that he sees is a pair of blue eyes- his mother eyes: two luminescent globes of blue skies and smiles in them. All the wonder of seeing him is mirrored in her eyes. And then in time the eyes have a gentle hand that caresses him and miraculously heals his injuries. That same hand feeds him wonders- golden apples and red delicious strawberries, dark purple grapes and heavily delicate raspberries.... Then there is the mouth-this miraculous device that makes sounds while enchanting the child's ears. And thus he finds out about the world- there is a whole new universe out there waiting for him to discover it veil by veil. The stories open his mind's eyes beyond any boundaries- he hears about miracles, and fairies and monsters and how evil is always defeated by good....

Time at first, for this child is nothing more than NOW, tomorrow at best, in case he is some kind of visionary...and NOW is lived to the maximum, no regrets, no doubts, as such notions are still outside the child's universe. Ironically as it may seem, as time passes, with discovery come regrets, doubts and a lot more questions and insecurities. The wonders he used to see in that pair of blue eyes, in the gentle gestures of that hand have long faded away....The child's eyes have, in the meantime, adapted to the dark... and while seeing in the dark, the light blinds him to the point of hurting him.

This darkness has become his daily reality, the horizons, he once dreamed of exploring, have brought but clouds and shadows and unclear lines... the shapes of things have lost their line, the meanings have altered and the child, a man now, has started seeking comfort in his routine. Routine and certain things have come to rule his life now...The miracles of soul and mind, the aspiration for a better self through exploration and reverence for the others, the faith that needs no proof the child used to have are no longer there.....

Instead, you have a burdened man, wandering about aimlessly.... he would, once in a while, feel he has a purpose in everything he does, but watched from above, or outside, he would probably be nothing more than an ant after its mound has been just carried away by waters. And despite all these insecurities and wandering into the dark....he would still take this over the delicate line of light he barely sees at the has become a matter of habit and daily routine for him...he's quite comfortable as long as he finds other ants just like him, or even worse...he can become even the king of his "mound"...why go beyond, into something which would surely somehow, challenge him, to a point where he no longer wants to go back- the first years of his life, when things were much simpler, and yet so much closer to that line of light? After all, he has turned into a cynical who has seen evil outside the pages of a book, and who, lo longer protected by the magical hands of his mother, has suffered pain and loneliness, and desperation and who, thus, has come to find comfort in shallowness, pettiness, turning his back to the light. He's too afraid and ashamed and burdened and lonely to ever tread towards the light- he couldn't find the path anyway...he's like the captain of a ship during a see the lighthouse somewhere at great distance, but winds and waves and fear of rocky cliffs will keep him away forever...or what it seemed forever. Eventually he will end up the shore, but by the time he finally gets there he's powerless- an old man looking back at all his aimless wandering, trembling with disease and hesitation, his mind already in the fog of time.